I have always been comfortable doing this. While there was always the first time awkwardness of changing a daily routine and way of living, soon I became comfortable in a new way of living and to some extent, a new way of thinking. My core beliefs and behavior would remain, but the willingness to think and act in another way would always be an option.
A few days ago, a question came to my attention that caused me to stop and think about my current situation. It required me to take a look at my own beliefs and morals and consider this question: how much do we compromise of our former actions and morals when in a new country?
I've been in Korea for almost two years and have experienced a large chunk of its culture and cultural standards. Some of which I have followed and agreed with, while other things have left me feeling a little out of place and feeling a little hesitant to embrace that part of the culture. I never really gave too much thought to the things that bothered me, I simply pushed them to the side or if I was left with no other option, just did that it in as minor of a role as possible.
The question that I talked about earlier comes into question specifically when we do something we wouldn't normally do, or rather something that goes against your own ethics or beliefs. Is it acceptable to go against them in order to fit in to another country and not cause problems?
For me, I'm honestly not sure, the issue never really bothered me until it was critically brought to my attention. A friend of mine expressed some difficulty fitting into certain aspects of Korea culture, specifically when it came to gender roles.
For those who are not aware, Korea follows strict gender roles and these roles are expected to be followed without conflict or deviation. For me, I was aware of this particular aspect of society, it never really bothered me enough to say or act against it in any way. Being that my friend is the opposite gender of myself, the issues affected her much more significantly. A critical look at some of the things people do and say to women could be interpreted as offensive to some people. This was something that was always on my mind but never really made me think about it critically until now.
While it didn't bother her so much that it made her want to pack her bags and run home, it was enough to get both of us thinking and wondering how to go about and deal with the situation. She finally decided that she would bring up the reasons why it was considered offensive and why it bothered her to people closer to her, but to older people and people she didn't have a close relationship with, she would just let it slide. It was a compromise between her morals and the societal norms of another culture.
I like to feel that when something bothers me in some way enough for me to think about it for days on end, I would speak up about it and tell them why I felt it was wrong. On the other hand, I have strong feelings about respecting other people's cultures and would rather not challenge someone on something that has most likely been a part of their life as long as they can remember.
I feel like an understanding and a middle ground can come between two reasonable people of any culture, but I would always feel that small feeling of guilt afterwards. I mean, who am I to tell people how to live their lives? Who am I to take a moral high ground and talk down to someone from a different culture?
On the other hand, there are some things that are not exactly morally right no matter which culture you come from and no matter how long it has been a part of your culture. I think we can all agree to varying degrees that sexism is wrong and to sit by and watch it continue without at least letting people know why its wrong feels a bit wrong as well. Sharing culture also means sharing beliefs and perspectives, this is an example.
In the end I don't have a solid answer and my approach could be completely different from another person's strategy. I try to maintain a balance, letting people know my point of view while respecting theirs and hopefully meeting in the middle. It's a not a perfect solution, but I think its a good middle ground for now.
It's funny how despite being here for almost two years, I still am not entirely sure how to go about dealing with certain issues. If anything, living abroad still presents puzzles and solutions two years later. The act of learning, is never ending and always changing.
