It's hard to tell where I'm at now, a lot has happened to me, a lot of good things during the last few days of the old year and the early beginning of the new one. In less than a few months I will be going home for a month to see friends and family again. I have re-signed my contract and agreed to stay on for another year. I've officially survived one year, and it feels pretty great.
My thinking and priorities have changed during the past few months. Things like living on your own and the expenses that come with them take on a bigger significance in your life. Not to say that the living expenses in Korea are terrible, far, far from it in fact. Rather its the knowledge that the amount of money I will have to spend when returning back to the states that has my concern. Suddenly the things that English teachers in Korea take for granted like apartment rent, auto insurance and gas prices become a very real prospect. Living on your own is expensive.
As someone once told me: "Kyle, you have to pay for water."
For most people having high paying job with little expenses is usually an excuse to forget about this, for me however, it is only a reminder of what one day will come.
As someone once told me: "Kyle, you have to pay for water."
For most people having high paying job with little expenses is usually an excuse to forget about this, for me however, it is only a reminder of what one day will come.
Another thing that has changed is my own view of living and companionship. I used to not mind being alone. In fact, I enjoyed being alone more than I would have probably liked to admit. I didn't use these feelings to be a recluse however, I often would take the time to socialize and engage with the outside world, but in the end enjoyed the peaceful serenity of an empty apartment at the end of the day. I liked the empty silence and cold emptiness to be a soothing reminder that my thoughts and my worries were my own, hidden away from the outside world separated by only my door and a reassuring smile.
Things changed drastically once I started dating in Korea. Where I had once appreciated solitary living, a few visits and weekend stays have changed my mind. I still appreciate the silence, but I notice the unpleasantries of being alone more than before. The nights seem a little colder. The echos of my walls a little too loud and quiet drip of water from my sink a little too monotonous. I was missing her more than before despite now only being a few hours away. We were talking more about our lives and dreams. We were sharing things about ourselves that we very rarely told anyone. It's a connection that I never felt before, but hoping will last forever. It's a good feeling to be with someone, to know that you're not doing things alone and that at the end of the day, can have someone to come back to to share all of the triumphs and help you forget the defeats.
Even my work schedule has changed from its normal 9 to 5 work day, now only lasting from 2 PM to 5 PM. It's a weird change to get used to. The day always feels incomplete, like my priorities shift to the middle for a few hours, with the rest of the day spent with ample amounts of time and me not being sure what I want to do with them. Until my schedule goes back to normal, I need to make sure that this newly acquired free time does not go to waste. Things like Korean class and writing need to be the main objectives.
For 2013 a lot has changed, more than I have written here and more than I currently have the ability to adequately express. In time they, like all thoughts, will be met with solutions or disappear to the back of my mind like so many other random thoughts lost to obscurity.
Like every year before it, and like every year ahead, I hope 2013 will be a great year. I am eternally optimistic that every year will be a good one, even if its incrementally. Inch by inch and day by day.
*I visited Jikjisa Temple early in the year and saw it was populated by tons of snow people> Like this cold chap here, I'm approaching the new year with a smile.
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