(24) 90 in 90: Friday Night Frights and Days of Future Past

Autumn is here in Korea. The crisp air is a refreshing change from the hot and humid summers.

It's a Friday night in the quiet town of Gimcheon and the first day of November. After spending a week of having plans fall through, job issues, communication issues and a good ole' helping of homesickness, the week and month of October is finally over and are now only two months away until the end of 2013.

Halloween is actually one of my favorite holidays, and the fact that I was unable to properly celebrate it this year left me a little sad. The last time I had a fun celebration with friends was nearly three years ago while I was still attending my university. The following three years were spent studying, working, being sick and being busy through the holiday. I did small celebrations by spending a few hours with friends, and while they were great fun with great people, something has always felt missing.

I tend to get that feeling from time to time. Wanting to celebrate something during a time of importance and always feeling that something is missing. It's not a sense of being disappointing or let down, but rather something tugging at your mind, that nagging sense that while everything seems right, there is something deep down that is off.

Perhaps its my sense of nostalgia, always subconsciously comparing the memories and days of yesterday, creating an expectation of scratching that nostalgic itch that we all yearn to find and hold on to, desperately struggling to hold on to that one time in our past that seemed without worry or regret, the reminder of what our lives once were and perhaps the hopes that the same feelings and memories can be repeated in the future.

Perhaps its homesickness? I do admit that after going home for a week to see friends and family, a small sense homesickness has been creeping up on me from time to time. It's never enough to make me yearn to return to my homeland, but its enough to put memories of good times from the past randomly inserting themselves in my mind. When things go bad or you have a bad week, we tend to think of home and all the good things about it.

Despite being an adult, my sense of security and relief still goes back to home, to my family and friends living their lives without me on the other side and the sometimes wishful feelings that they could be with you, to watch you take the punches life throws at you and be there to wipe away the blood and ice the bruises.

I rarely tend to get like this, I always appreciated the freedom and sense of adventure being away from home brought with it. Sometimes though, home is a comforting thought. Its that blanket of security that comes from knowing that no matter where you are and what you do, you can always go back home to security.

This feeling doesn't come often, but it still manages to creep in from time to time.  It doesn't happen as often as it used to, but the fact that it occasionally does happen proves that no matter where I go and who I'm with, no matter how successful or happy I become, home is always on my mind.

Home will always be on my mind, this is not a bad thing.

                                                 This song always reminds me of home.