(18) 90 in 90: The Plan that Came Together

Confession time: I'm pretty bad at planning events. I've always been bad at planning them. I've been planning them or rather wanting to plan them since a young age but always faltered when it came time to step up and claim responsibility. Never wanting to give up, I continued to try and be the party planner, always trying to schedule big meet ups or events, having visions of events running without a hitch in my mind, yet in reality, the result was always far from the desired vision.

So you could imagine my nervousness when I began planning my girlfriend's birthday party. This wasn't something that belonged to me, it wasn't just my enjoyment that was at stake this time, it was hers as well.

That's not to say she would have complained or protested if something went wrong, she's not that type of person. She would have appreciated anything as long as my thought and sincerity was there, but for me, it was something I wanted to go well. In my mind she deserved it. She deserved it for all the long hours she worked everyday, working insane nighttime hours. She deserved it for the endless amount of time she spent studying and preparing for her future jobs. I knew her life was full of stress and I wanted her to have a relaxed and happy day, even if it was just for one day.

So I started to pay attention, started to listen and take note of the things she said, the things that she wanted. While this may sound like an obvious thing to do, it takes a good memory and power of recollection to remember every detail months away, something that I usually am pretty bad at.

Happily, everything went incredibly well and according to my plan. It was almost too scary how well things went and how well each activity lead into the other one. We started with dinner at Namsan Tower at a restaurant called The Place, a nice Italian restaurant with a spectacular view of the entire Seoul area below Namsan. When we first arrived, the look of surprise on her face said it all. I had done something that I had rarely done before, I had genuinely surprised her.

It didn't stop there, I had a whole list of things to do the next day, including brunch at a nice breakfast place in Itaewon called The Flying Pan and the main event, tickets to watch the musical Chicago, which at the time, was its last day of production for the remainder of the year at the National Theater of Korea.

At the end of the day, I ended up spending more time with her than expected (this is another story for another day) and was able to spend the night at her family's house and enjoy her birthday breakfast in the morning (consisting of galbi and seaweed soup), a tradition that she had told me about and I had finally had the chance to participate in.

My girlfriend is a very calm and rational person, showing extreme amounts of emotions of gushing with joy are two things that do not commonly happen with her. The few days spent celebrating her birthday were filled with smiles and laughter. With emotional gushing and squeals of delight. With "Oh My God" and "Ahh, so excited" heard throughout the day.

If it sounds like I'm writing this to show off how awesome of a boyfriend I am, its not. Rather, its more of a feeling of joy and relief that I had finally put together a great plan for someone who really mattered to me. There was no regrets or do it better next times, but rather a great plan that surprised and made someone close to me very happy.

To go back to a previous post, I'm much better at participating and having energy at someone else's party rather than my own, and this is no exception . Hannibal from the A-Team was right, I love it when a plan comes together.

Website for Namsan Tower
Website for The Flying Pan
Website The National Theater of Korea 
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(16) 90 in 90: Birthdays Abroad

This past weekend I celebrated my birthday with friends. This is something that I normally do not do. In fact this is only the second year that I've had any kind of official celebration concerning my day of birth.

My birthday in previous years has always been a bit low key. Never any big parties or fancy gatherings but rather simple small dinners with my family. My birthday always feel during the late August, so for a\ most of my early school life, my birthday was forgotten by other students as the school year started and the summer began its slow transition into the fall.

There was a small part of me that always felt that celebrating my birthday was a bit narcissistic. To me, it almost seemed like forcing others to acknowledge the day of your birth and the declaration of just how important of a person you are. While this comes off as sounding like a self esteem issue, its really not, my confidence is just fine, as is my level of self importance. I just felt like it was a bit selfish to make others celebrate with me.

However this year was truly fantastic, much of it being due to my wonderful girlfriend working very hard and planning a little surprise for me, which came completely unexpected.

While I was away at school during the day, she came to Gimcheon from Incheon (a three hour train ride) and decorated my house while I was gone. When I cam home I was greeted to streamers, balloons and a smiling girlfriend ready to greet me. She even went as far as to bring some small gifts that I had wanted since the beginning of the year.

It was truly a touching moment and the emotion that swept over me was held in check my my constant smiling. I've never had a surprise party in my life, so to see all the time and effort my girlfriend put into making it great meant a lot to me. A simple and kind gesture that showed a lot of caring, and something that still warms my heart thinking back on it.

The rest of the evening was spent with some friends who lived in Gimcheon as we went out to dinner and ice cream afterwards. Some of the people I had not seen since the summer began, so it was nice to have a relaxing dinner and enjoy each other's company. The one thing I cannot deny about the people I know in Gimcheon is the chemistry everyone has with each other. Even if we're just acquaintances, the conversations we usually have are warm and inviting. I suppose it comes from the "we're all neighbors in Gimcehon" mentality that we can all share. I can't really complain though, its better to be included and part some something good rather than being isolated, especially in a foreign country.

At the end of the night, my girlfriend remarked at just how nice the night was. No stress or pressure from trying to please everyone. No excess of partying and drinking . Just good conversations and good times with everyone.

"Its amazing how much fun we had without getting drunk," my girlfriend said. "Usually in Korea, friends get drunk together and call it a bonding experience. They really don't get to talk like we did though, it was nice."

I don't think I could have asked for a better day. I had a great time spending time with the people I care about the most and didn't wake up with a hangover the next morning.

Thank you to everyone who made it great, if all of my birthdays could be like this, I would probably feel less guilty about celebrating them.

Parties are a reminder to have fun

I rarely stay out all night with people. I usually become bored or tired by the time the 1 AM mark comes around, wanting more than anything to go home to my quiet apartment rather than spend another minute in some smokey bar where obnoxious, loud music would be my only lullaby for the night. I'm picky like that with my socialization, it has to be the right people and the right place in order for me to feel comfortable and able to forget the hours passing rather than count them down until the first train back home. Maybe it's because I'm getting older. Maybe it's because I'm selfish and a bad friend. Maybe I just hate partying. The answers and their solutions could be endless, more than I have the time to investigate or care about.

Last Saturday was a special day, the birthday celebration of one of my friends, one of the first English teachers I met last year, and fellow film enthusiast. From the very beginning it was clear that her party was not intended to be an ordinary gathering of friends, booze and headaches in the morning. There would be plenty of that, but she wanted the party to be something special. Something that not only celebrated her day of entrance into our world, but also her favorite past time as well: the celebration of film and the moving picture.

Together with a few other friends, we planned her party and the details behind it. She wanted it to be a costume party, a party where guests came to dinner in costume, character or both and enjoyed each other's personalities come alive. After having her friends vote on each person and their respective character, we had time to assemble our costumes and characters before the party. Out of all the people, I was picked to be Christopher Walken. Personally, I would have loved to have been Harold Raimas from Ghostbusters, but if people wanted me to be The Walken, than damn it, I was Walken for a night.

Once the day came, we gathered at a restaurant large enough to fit a sizable group of people and not too long after the final guest showed up, the rediculousness began. I sat next to Aaron Johnson from Kick Ass, a shy introverted young man who dreamed of becoming a super hero. Across from me sat The Dude from the Big Lebowski, calm and laid back as in the movie, not quite understanding why Erin Brockovich was getting so upset next to him.

Velma from Scooby Doo was there and not too far from her was Michael Cera from Superbad looking as awkward and personality-less as ever. His girlfriend, Rosemary from Rosemary's Baby looked to be in good spirits despite having a (fake) demon baby growing inside of her. At the head of the table, sat the birthday girl herself: Penelope Cruz from the film Vicky, Christina Barcelona. Full of spite about her failed relationships and her apparent lack of not existing, her bitter and spiteful personality was on full display, taking any opportunity to insult and belittle guests who dared to speak to her. As for myself, I acted as cool as I could because, Walken, as we all know, is always cool.

After the weird rogue's gallery of assorted movie characters finished their meal, we made our way from the restaurant to go from club to club until we found a suitable spot. Luckily, the weather was not too cold, making the trek from place to place pleasant and all the more jovial since we were in good company. 

The city of Daegu was one of my favorite metropolitan cities in Korea for its clean streets and the close proximity of small shops and restaurants. It was often difficult to navigate around the city due to the building's close proximity and lack of decipherable landmarks, however this just added to its charm. It was a small maze of bright lights and little coffee shops filled with people walking everywhere. In Seoul, you could often feel trapped by the massive concrete pillars looming over you. Here, It felt like a leisurely downtown stroll.

We finally settled on a small night club called Jeep. It was tiny, dark and smelled like a ash tray that should have been thrown out years ago. The music they played ranged from bad pop to enjoyable beats. The song choices and atmosphere mattered little as we started to dance not long after settling in. Good and bad songs. Hip hop and hits from yesterday. We danced and danced until the early dawn and the first train prepared to leave the city. It was exhausting. It filled out lungs with smoke and our bodies with alcohol, but we didn't mind. Everyone was laughing and dancing. They didn't care about any of this. We were with each other, the ones we spent the most time with, the ones we came to when we were in trouble and the ones we relied on whether we wanted to admit it or not.

As I rode the long train home, I talked to one of my friends sitting next to me about a topic that I had no real knowledge in, nor anything useful to contribute. I simply wanted to keep talking, to enjoy the positive energy and make the party last a little longer.

I was reminded about a lot that night. I remembered how the right people can always make an event fun, and sometimes even more fun than it initially seems. I reminded myself to enjoy these moments and remember them, for like all things in life they pass along too quickly. I also reconfirmed that I was a horrible dancer. I don't know how to dance at clubs. I will probably never learn and don't really want to. My friends danced like they didn't care who was watching and despite some curious onlookers who eventually joined us, they weren't there to show off or look good in front of a crowd, they wanted to dance.

So they danced.  

No one uploaded pictures from the party yet, so here is a birthday cake. Yep. Delicious birthday cake. 

Half Way In: Birthdays, Goodbyes and Half way points

It is now September, seven months from when I first came to Korea and began working for EPIK and stepped foot into Korea for the first time. Before I get too far into details, I will say that this is going to be a slightly sentimental post on all of the things that I have seen and witnessed since coming to Korea. However, this was not a blog post that was planned or even given second thought. There were no plans to celebrate my anniversary in Korea and the time spent here.

The truth is that if I were not writing this post, I would have probably forgotten about how long I have been here. The old line of feeling just like yesterday has never made more sense to me since coming to Korea. Time seems to go so fast here. There’s always work to go to, people to visit and places to go. I used to enjoy the quiet moments of doing nothing and being lazy but with this new, upbeat lifestyle change, I find it hard to sit still more than a day. I am always wanting to move around and always wanting to get outside, even for a bit and get some fresh air. I am slowly becoming a man of motion, and stopping for anything feels odd and like a waste of time.

It's not a birthday without cake

The last couple weeks have been significant in contributing in the nonstop lifestyle. I recently celebrated my birthday with my first birthday party with friends in my life. It was a small and simple event but one that I was very fun to take part and of and very thankful to participate in. I always used to feel that celebrating your birthday was a slightly selfish act of self indulgence and always felt slightly embarrassed for wanting to have one, however this was a lot of fun. I loved having some good friends around to eat, drink and have a fun time. It’s taken 25 years but I finally figured out that the best birthdays aren’t the ones where lavish attention is spent on the birthday boy/girl, but rather its using your day of birth to spend time around and remind yourself why you are thankful for being alive for and kicking for this long.

Last week also marked two events held at the same time, the birthday of one of my dearest friends and the departure of another good friend.

Our histories go back a few years. The person celebrating their birthday was someone I knew from back in the day as a university student. We became good friends and quite close before she had to go back to Korea and I went my separate way. It was not until this year that I would actually see her again.

As for the person leaving, this person was the best friend in Korea to my friend from the university (still following?). I ended up becoming friends with her and despite the short time of knowing her, got to become good friends.

The group assembled 

The party was a dual celebration of one friend leaving and one friend’s birthday. What made it special was the attendance. I had meet friends and friends of friends through various networks and meet ups through these two people. When I was finally able to see most of them all in one place, in the same room, talking to one another, it was a great moment for me. I was always a sucker for uniting groups of people for common causes and it was especially heartwarming to see all of us coming together to give one person one last goodbye and another person some birthday wishes.

My months in Korea have been memorable and exciting. I have learned, grown as a person and discovered more about myself and others than any other point in my life so far. I hope my remaining time in Korea can be spent learning more, growing more and meeting more people.

Despite being miles from home I can say with complete conviction that I am content and happy with my life. I don’t have all the answers yet, but right now, I don’t need to. Life is simply on auto pilot now. The top is down, the skies are clear and the road is long and empty for miles on end. 

This time tomorrow, where will I be?

It's been a whirlwind of  concerts, parties and now vacation time during my summer vacation days. The days have been packed with loads of new events, discovers and opportunities on a near daily basis that the next few days of backpacking will be a welcome change of pace.

It feels odd not having to go to work on a dear daily basis. As much as I enjoy waking up whenever I want and doing whatever I want during my break without worry of being on time, I kind of miss the routine and the structured schedule of showing up to work everyday and having a task set in front of me. It seems like forever since I last taught and even longer since I last set foot in my school.

The next few days will be spent backpacking and traveling around Korea. I'm looking forward to the opportunity to see Korea in a light that many people often don't get to see.

It will also be a welcome opportunity to rest my weary mind from all the thoughts that have been wracking my brain for the past few days. Lot's of events have been happening in my personal life, many of them requiring serious commitment or thought. Hopefully the next few days will present some moments of clarity and allow me to get my head back on straight again.

The lack of work combined with these thoughts of futures and relationships makes my brain scramble and feel like a slushy mess of inactivity and intense thoughts. It's easy to fall into this trap because its easy. It requires little effort and most of all, requires you to simply veg out and stagnant while your brain slowly fades away into oblivion.

While its till undetermined whether I will have the chance to write and update on my trip its almost certain that I will have something to say upon my return and the beginning of the second semester of my school. There were still some other events that didn't get the chance to mention including:

My first K pop Concert (2NE1)

A birthday weekend in Daegu

The outcome of a very important decision

Working for publications in Korea

Gagnam Style!



Don't let me forget about these when I come back, I have to keep up to date so don't let me forget.

That goes for everyone, even YOU.

A club in Daegu. Who is Bob? Why does he have a club? The mind boggles...

Saying goodbye, Gimcheon style

Working in Korea under a yearly contract is one of the worst things you can do. I’m not talking about the job itself, but rather the people you meet and the unfortunate eventuality that they will, go their separate ways.

I suppose it’s not entirely uncommon to live a life or have a job in which friends come and go, however with overseas teaching jobs, this is a much more common occurrence and an all too common reminder of how easily people and places enter and exit our lives.

At least one person was happy.

Last night, I went to a farewell party for a fellow teacher living and working in Gimcheon. I had first met him only a few weeks after coming to Korea, a friendly guy that I eventually got to know better. He was always funny, always quick with a funny remark and was liked by everyone he met. He was “that” guy, the guy who was always the life of the party, the one who everyone naturally gravitated toward and wanted to be with.

The party itself was not far removed from a typical going away party. Dinner and a few drinks afterwards. Before the party began, I approached the event with slight apprehension, knowing that I would more than likely have a good time, but at the expense of having to say goodbye.

Whenever I was meeting up with people in Gimcehon, it was always a mini event I eagerly looked forward to. We had this amazing ability to take the ordinary and make it spectacular, to turn a small restaurant into a playground of colorful conversation, or a one room apartment into a socially engaging party zone. Our company was what we were after, and our presence was all we needed to have a good time.

This party was no different, despite the somewhat somber occasion; we never let it get to us. Since we were together, there was no excuse to feel sad, but rather celebrate the time that we were able to spend together and the memories we made in our short time here.

Like any outing that we participated in, there were a few ridiculous moments that took place. It wouldn’t be outing with the Gimcheon crew unless something random and in the end, nonsensical took place. This night was no exception.

For your reading pleasure, this is what happened…

1.      

       Met a crazy foreigner living in Gimcheon for over twelve years. He loves to talk about imperialism, is married to a wife who doesn't love him, wants to have children but is impotent and has a strong dislike of foreigners teaching and working in Korea. All this I learned about him the first time meeting him. Some people… some people.

The cake is not a lie. 

2.      Tried to get away from this crazy foreigner and try not to get spotted by him again. This required us sneak around the back of building, double back, travel down an alley and creep around corners making sure he didn't see us. We basically played Metal Gear Solid for about fifteen minutes.

After dinner we planned on relocating to a bar for drinks. One of our friends was nice enough to give her a ride in her car, but needed to stop at another friend’s apart. As we sat in the car, we suddenly came up with the idea to sneak up and scare her. As I finally gained the courage and composure to go through with the plan, I slowly approached her door, only to be greeted with her opening it and wondering why I looked like I was about to break into the place. On this night, I was Solid Snake.

3.     Once we arrived at the bar, the drinks piled up, the laughs became louder and the conversation became crazier. I don’t entirely remember everything we talked about, but I do remember being called a butler, then a maid, then a doorman. I also remember one of our friends deciding that she would be the new ruler and princess of Gimcheon. It’s amazing what we can become with a few drinks in us and how much fun we can have with company…

4.     Until one of guests decided to let loose a barrage of sexist and racists comments directed at one of our Korean guests. She broke down in tears and as he vainly tried to explain his position on how he was “right”, the rest of the people there valiantly came to her aid. As much as the situation was quickly decaying, it was almost inspiring to see our friends so quick to aid and help someone out. They made her feel better and let her know that one asshole wasn’t going to spoil her fun. What could have quickly turned bad ended up being the saving grace of the night.

It was a memorable night. As the night ended and we began to make our way back home, we all said our last goodbyes to our friend. This was possibly the final moment we would see him again. I gave him a hug and told him he would not be forgotten.

I can only hope that he leaves with good memories and years down the line long after the memories of the little town of Gimcheon and the crazy waygooks living there, he remembers the people. He remembers how much they appreciated the time spent, and just how much he would be missed.

So long good friend, we’ll see you when we see you.